So it has been a rough ride through this whole surgery. I am doing well physically with the process but unfortunately, the mental game is a lot harder. I have fallen in and out of a battle with depression. I am trying to stay positive but depression and PTSD usually equates to isolation. For me, that has been the case. Part of that was seeing all that I have worked hard to maintain slip away. From staying on top of my PTSD to maintain and/or losing weight, I lost it. I gained all the weight I lost (40 plus pounds) and isolation has made no sleep and depression the true winners.
With that said, it’s time to take back control. I thought long and hard about where I was headed and I was not happy. I remembered the things that brought me joy and compared them to the things holding me back. I realized how much more you all have had an impact in my life. I realized that something as simple as a motivational text helped me see through some of the fog. I realized that going to the gym not only helped me achieve my physical goals, that it also helped with sleep. I remember our conversations and how motivated I was to make you and your organization proud. I thank you so much for all of that, my family also thanks you all too.
So now I am here, picking up the pieces, and I know I am more than ready to get back to work. The doctors have cleared me to go to the gym and the mental health doctor thinks it will be the best thing for me. I have come up with new goals and one of them is to be on a Paralympic team in 2020. I understand the struggles that are ahead and have come up with a plan for success.
I want to thank you all for all your help, motivation, and support. It speaks volumes when those who have served are honored how you all honor us. No matter what happens, we are soldiers, marines, airmen, and sailors, we will never give up and accept defeat, we will never leave a falling comrade! You all have not abandoned us, you have never forgotten and I thank god that we have people that understand the sacrifices that we make for others. If you can, I am ready to start up at the gym again. I would appreciate any consideration and support. Once again, thank you so much and God Bless the United States of America!